My first opportunity to come back into a school was as a permanent sub. I walked in on the first day with no idea what I would be doing or what I was doing for that matter. I was told to help out wherever I was needed as students began coming into the school. After helping direct traffic including a few teary eyed first graders, I spent the rest of the morning sorting books and unpacking boxes. It was about as unglamorous a start as most could imagine, and yet I began feeling like I was finally in the right place.
By the afternoon I was going from classroom to classroom delivering materials and asking anyone if they needed help. It would have seemed to most to be a rather dull day, but to me, it was refreshing and exciting. The school was a place where I felt like I had a purpose. Even with the most menial of tasks and without really having a chance to work with children, I still felt valuable. The bright atmosphere, excited young faces, and so much potential had captivated me instantly. Over the years I would get to know some of the less bright parts of working in schools, but despite their emergence, that first day was one that I would never forget. I knew just from being there on a day where I did so little, that working in schools was something I was meant to do.
Over the next three years I worked in many capacities while I attained my teaching certificate. I grew up as a boy at that school, and over the next three years I began to grown as an educator.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
A Journey Begins
As I mentioned in my first post, I will try to catch up on the many steps that have brought me to begin a blog as I make the transition from teacher to educational leader.
When I was in college, I had no idea what I wanted to do, the only thing I did know, was that I didn't want to be a teacher. In fact, the thought had never really sounded appealing to me. As I went through school I learned more about things I knew were not for me. I took the LSATs as a personal form of torture before deciding that despite good scores, Law School was not for me either. So at the end of the road, graduation looming and without the top level grade point average to secure a place in a Grad program that I would have liked, I graduated with a BA in Philosophy and Government. I was officially qualified to argue my way out of a paper bag, and wait tables.
After finishing up another summer in the restaurant business (almost everyone who grows up on the south Jersey shore worked in a restaurant at some point) I joined the many post college graduates without a clue in the public sector business world. For a few weeks I studied, passed test, and became a liscensed financial advisor. I do not know how I found myself there, needless to say, I was thrust into a world about which I knew nothing. My days were long, I would "work" from 9am-8pm Monday - Thursday, with slightly shorter days on Friday and a few hours every Saturday. I quotated work for many reasons. Much of this time was spent with pep talks, "random" business lunch winners and learning about products I would never sell. My job was to sell people on the value of my advice, and although I was not terrible at it by any means, my heart was never in it. One day, while working out a plan for a person who would have been my wealthiest client to date, and also my biggest pay check in months, I found myself being totally disenchanted with the business forever. Despite actually creating a plan for this family that would have genuinely been great for them, I was repeatedly pushed off and rescheduled. One day, when the clients were supposed to have been unavailable do to a work emergency, I saw them out having dinner at a restaurant. I realized then, that I didn't have the heart for the business world. I was so disgusted by the blatant disregaurd for my time, and the clear distrust for someone whom they paid for advice, that from that moment on, my work slid completely down hill. With very little money, a newly financed engagment ring, and a sickened feeling in my stomach, I quit my job in what was one of the most liberating decisions of my life.
I humbly went back to waiting tables. It took a lot to swallow my pride as a well educated college graduate to go back to a job I never wanted and accept that it was the only way to get by. A few months later my fiance' suggested I try subbing. She knew I loved kids and suggested I try it out to see if teaching might be for me. That summer, through a series of phone calls and help from my mom (a career teacher), I was fortunate to land a permanent substitute position in the school where I grew up.
I reference this point in my life for a few reasons. First, I have strong feelings about teacher preparation which I will ultimately share in later posts. The second, is that I know what its like to work in the private sector for a business. I worked long hours, recieved very little reward either financially or otherwise, and often felt like a fish out of water. I am not saying that the people I worked with weren't good people, or that their jobs are not valuable. I know that when I leave my school now, my mind doesn't usually leave with me. I am constantly thinking of new ideas to share with my coworkers or my students. I am always at "work" because I never stop thinking about how I can benefit my classroom, but most days I would say that I do not feel like I am working. I do leave however, with a renewed sense that what I am doing is what I was made for, and how I could be happy working anywhere other than in a school is incomprehensible.
Needless to say, the first day I walked into the building as a permanent sub, I was completely hooked and it changed my life (and the life of my family) forever.
When I was in college, I had no idea what I wanted to do, the only thing I did know, was that I didn't want to be a teacher. In fact, the thought had never really sounded appealing to me. As I went through school I learned more about things I knew were not for me. I took the LSATs as a personal form of torture before deciding that despite good scores, Law School was not for me either. So at the end of the road, graduation looming and without the top level grade point average to secure a place in a Grad program that I would have liked, I graduated with a BA in Philosophy and Government. I was officially qualified to argue my way out of a paper bag, and wait tables.
After finishing up another summer in the restaurant business (almost everyone who grows up on the south Jersey shore worked in a restaurant at some point) I joined the many post college graduates without a clue in the public sector business world. For a few weeks I studied, passed test, and became a liscensed financial advisor. I do not know how I found myself there, needless to say, I was thrust into a world about which I knew nothing. My days were long, I would "work" from 9am-8pm Monday - Thursday, with slightly shorter days on Friday and a few hours every Saturday. I quotated work for many reasons. Much of this time was spent with pep talks, "random" business lunch winners and learning about products I would never sell. My job was to sell people on the value of my advice, and although I was not terrible at it by any means, my heart was never in it. One day, while working out a plan for a person who would have been my wealthiest client to date, and also my biggest pay check in months, I found myself being totally disenchanted with the business forever. Despite actually creating a plan for this family that would have genuinely been great for them, I was repeatedly pushed off and rescheduled. One day, when the clients were supposed to have been unavailable do to a work emergency, I saw them out having dinner at a restaurant. I realized then, that I didn't have the heart for the business world. I was so disgusted by the blatant disregaurd for my time, and the clear distrust for someone whom they paid for advice, that from that moment on, my work slid completely down hill. With very little money, a newly financed engagment ring, and a sickened feeling in my stomach, I quit my job in what was one of the most liberating decisions of my life.
I humbly went back to waiting tables. It took a lot to swallow my pride as a well educated college graduate to go back to a job I never wanted and accept that it was the only way to get by. A few months later my fiance' suggested I try subbing. She knew I loved kids and suggested I try it out to see if teaching might be for me. That summer, through a series of phone calls and help from my mom (a career teacher), I was fortunate to land a permanent substitute position in the school where I grew up.
I reference this point in my life for a few reasons. First, I have strong feelings about teacher preparation which I will ultimately share in later posts. The second, is that I know what its like to work in the private sector for a business. I worked long hours, recieved very little reward either financially or otherwise, and often felt like a fish out of water. I am not saying that the people I worked with weren't good people, or that their jobs are not valuable. I know that when I leave my school now, my mind doesn't usually leave with me. I am constantly thinking of new ideas to share with my coworkers or my students. I am always at "work" because I never stop thinking about how I can benefit my classroom, but most days I would say that I do not feel like I am working. I do leave however, with a renewed sense that what I am doing is what I was made for, and how I could be happy working anywhere other than in a school is incomprehensible.
Needless to say, the first day I walked into the building as a permanent sub, I was completely hooked and it changed my life (and the life of my family) forever.
A moment of clarity...or insanity
I welcome you to my blog, and on this journey with me!
For as long as I can remember, I thought of concepts like blogging, social media, and basically anything that puts your ideas and thoughts on public display to be recreational and somewhat pretentious. My initial ideas were that Facebook and Instagram were for sharing pictures with your friends and family, twitter was a good way to get yourself in trouble, and blogging was for people who believed their opinions were a bit more significant than they really were!
It was not until recently, while in the latest step of development in my educational career that I began to see a more significant value for these tools. Thus, I have decided that I will join the ranks of those blogging individuals at the risk of sounding pretentious and at the risk of saying things that may spark negative comments or remarks. I have done so for two reasons.
The first, is that after having read some blogs written by educators and administrators, I realize the tremendous value in reading and sharing in a person's opinions and thought processes. Even if there were concepts with which I completely disagreed, the act of reading through a discussion and evaluating its value was a worthwhile learning experience. I am sure that as I begin to share my own ideas, struggles, and successes, there will be plenty of readers (assuming anyone actually bothers to read this...) that disagree with my ideas, process or decisions. The fact that they read something I wrote and it provoked the thought is in itself valuable. As I continue to write about my journey from college graduate, into the private sector, and then working my way up from the base of the public education system, I hope that things that I share will be thought provoking, inspiring, or even cathartic for both myself and anyone willing to read through my occasional rambling discourses.
The second reason for starting a blog is for my own personal record. As teachers, including myself, we can often be guilty of accusing administrators, people working in the government sector, and anyone not on the "front line" of education of being disconnected from what it is like to be an educator. I am hoping that as I continue to grow as a teacher and a leader, I can save some shred of my thoughts from before I turn completely to "the dark side". If nothing else, I will likely be able to look back and laugh at the musings of my younger self and smile at the potentially misguided remarks I may yet share. Hopefully however, this blog will serve as a record to ground me and remind me of the ideas, emotions, and knowledge that I valued at different stages of this journey.
I have started this blog somewhere in the middle of my journey, so over the course of several entries, I hope to revisit the many events that have brought me to this moment of clarity or insanity as I chose to begin sharing my ideas with the anonymous public...
Thank you for reading,
Brian
For as long as I can remember, I thought of concepts like blogging, social media, and basically anything that puts your ideas and thoughts on public display to be recreational and somewhat pretentious. My initial ideas were that Facebook and Instagram were for sharing pictures with your friends and family, twitter was a good way to get yourself in trouble, and blogging was for people who believed their opinions were a bit more significant than they really were!
It was not until recently, while in the latest step of development in my educational career that I began to see a more significant value for these tools. Thus, I have decided that I will join the ranks of those blogging individuals at the risk of sounding pretentious and at the risk of saying things that may spark negative comments or remarks. I have done so for two reasons.
The first, is that after having read some blogs written by educators and administrators, I realize the tremendous value in reading and sharing in a person's opinions and thought processes. Even if there were concepts with which I completely disagreed, the act of reading through a discussion and evaluating its value was a worthwhile learning experience. I am sure that as I begin to share my own ideas, struggles, and successes, there will be plenty of readers (assuming anyone actually bothers to read this...) that disagree with my ideas, process or decisions. The fact that they read something I wrote and it provoked the thought is in itself valuable. As I continue to write about my journey from college graduate, into the private sector, and then working my way up from the base of the public education system, I hope that things that I share will be thought provoking, inspiring, or even cathartic for both myself and anyone willing to read through my occasional rambling discourses.
The second reason for starting a blog is for my own personal record. As teachers, including myself, we can often be guilty of accusing administrators, people working in the government sector, and anyone not on the "front line" of education of being disconnected from what it is like to be an educator. I am hoping that as I continue to grow as a teacher and a leader, I can save some shred of my thoughts from before I turn completely to "the dark side". If nothing else, I will likely be able to look back and laugh at the musings of my younger self and smile at the potentially misguided remarks I may yet share. Hopefully however, this blog will serve as a record to ground me and remind me of the ideas, emotions, and knowledge that I valued at different stages of this journey.
I have started this blog somewhere in the middle of my journey, so over the course of several entries, I hope to revisit the many events that have brought me to this moment of clarity or insanity as I chose to begin sharing my ideas with the anonymous public...
Thank you for reading,
Brian
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